Once you have started to notice when you become defensive, its important to start validating your feelings when you are criticized. , , : () ( , Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary, the webmaster's page for free fun content, Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service, Defensive Area of Operational Responsibility. They may have a more exaggerated startle response than other people do, even in the same family. Opposite. This may not be as helpful a strategy they consistently push you to concede or compromise. In turn, behavior usually results from the feeling, such as being sarcastic, giving someone the silent treatment, or being critical in return. Opposite. Remain calm even if you feel like becoming defensive in return (as this won't solve anything). Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. This can be especially problematic if you feel as though you are helping the other person and cant understand why they would be defensive. But in the long term, it undermines us and our relationships. Webused to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Aiming to justify or excuse oneself or one's actions. Anxiety in and of itself is not a bad thing. Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad free! Copyright 2023 Vocabulary.com, Inc., a division of IXL Learning Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. If you know a particular topic always makes you feel hurt or angry, its acceptable to tell the other person that you dont want to discuss it unless the goal is finding a solution. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Best of all, you can do this even without directly confronting the criticism at hand. But the participants who had been primed to think intelligence was malleable coped by being curious about the strategies of those who performed better. c. Performed so as to avoid risk, danger, or legal liability: defensive driving; defensive medicine. Hear a word and type it out. Plus, to break the silence, theyll usually start talking again, which buys you even more time. Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. Its possible that you dont recognize that you are in fact hurt, angry, sad, ashamed, or feeling belittled when you react defensively. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. What triggers your fight or flight defenses? Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. People who are insecure or guilty tend to act defensive. Year to date through Sept. 21, the closely watched CBOE Volatility Index is up 62.5%. This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person. Its easy to avoid confronting your behavior or acknowledging that you are behaving in a defensive manner. distrustful. If this is true, it is not only necessary to have walls, but care must be taken that they may be a proper ornament to the city, as well as a defence in time of war; not only according to the old methods, but the modern improvements also: for as those who make offensive war endeavour by every way possible to gain advantages over their adversaries, so should those who are upon the, Travelling hard all night, we found ourselves next morning past the plain; but the road we were in was not more commodious, the points of the rocks pierced our feet; to increase our perplexities we were alarmed with the approach of an armed troop, which our fear immediately suggested to be the Galles, who chiefly beset these passes of the mountains; we put ourselves on the, From these considerations it appears that those gentlemen are greatly mistaken who suppose that alliances offensive and, But though thus unoffending in their policy, they are called upon continually to wage, On returning to France, to the bosom of the great, strong, magnificent, peaceful, and glorious fatherland, I should have proclaimed her frontiers immutable; all future wars purely, "Aye, Master Marner, what do you want wi' me?" Middle English defensif, borrowed from Anglo-French, borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvus, from Latin dfensus, past participle of dfendere "to ward off, defend" + -vus -ive, Middle English defensif "something acting as protection," borrowed from Medieval Latin dfensvum, noun derivative from neuter of dfensvus defensive entry 1, 14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. If you feel yourself become defensive, try to see if you can simply acknowledge it and work through the conflict as honestly and generously as possible. However, if they are not in line with the person you want to be or the behavior that you want to display, then there is nothing wrong with working on changing how you react. Then all the participants were given just four minutes to read a long and confusing passage from Freuds classic The Interpretation of Dreams, which, with its late 1800s language and esoteric ideas, was about as easy to get through as a line at the DMV on your lunch hour. Most often this surfaces in more toxic forms: by teasing or making snide comments, holding grudges, or by growing more indifferent to our partner over time. When we lash out, we dig ourselves deeper. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft They may often hear themselves described as "too sensitive" or "thin-skinned." The simple act of acknowledging that you feel hurt, worried, ashamed, fearful, or insecure can help to defuse the situation. Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you avoid a great deal of stress. But no matter their actual score, participants were told they scored in the 37th percentile. Usage explanations of natural written and spoken English. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. Say more about that. And then, use their airtime to take a few slow breaths and consider how youd like to respond. Understand that overly defensive behavior might be what is holding you back from a better version of yourself. Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. Motor vehicle collisions are the leading cause of death in the workplace. If you want to further reduce the risk of the other person being defensive, add something to the end of your request such as, It would be a great help to me, or I would really appreciate the help.. But if the feedback is meant to help you or is neutral and objectivelike scoring in the 37th percentilerather than channeling your energy into soothing yourself, youll fare better if you channel your energy into improving yourself. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. An old-fashioned rule we can no longer put up with. Consider and weigh all viewpoints and try to reach a resolution to the problem together. Sharing feelings builds intimacy, but it's also vulnerable. Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. For example, if you feel badly when someone brings up your physical health, you might feel more confident if you already know that you are doing everything possible to be the healthiest version of yourself. A study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue. Research Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. Ask yourself these questions, and find a way to find inner peace during criticism so you won't react defensively. So how do they know when its fair to get defensive and when its a misinterpretation? Research from 2020 suggested that people use defensiveness to give themselves a break when they do something wrong. The cost to our intimate relationships when we aren't willing to protest (whether out of fear, self-doubt, an impulse to people-please, and so on) is that we literally make it impossible for the issues in the relationship to heal. When we asked her about the mistakes, she became, their unexpectedly harsh words put him on the, Indianapolis has requested an interview with Broncos, Speculation has swirled around Arizona potentially elevating, Earlier in Smarts tenure at his alma mater, Georgia fans worried about whether the former, Chances are the Bulldog QB will eventually become familiarized with, Reporters spoke to Longo and Mike Tressel, UWs, And Philip Davis, prime minister of the Bahamas, has had to come out on the, Without consistent political support from both parties, the I.R.S. 3. Yet withdrawal and disconnection are what continue to create trouble. Since you cant always avoid conflict, it may be beneficial to consider these tips and tricks for communicating effectively, especially with someone defensive. [13501400; Middle English < Middle French < Medieval Latin]. Send us feedback. Conflicting, positive or strongly held? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Here's how you can improve it. (2017). Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D., is a psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. If you are not willing to admit that you may be wrong, and you act as though you are superior in your communication, then this may elicit defensive communication from the people around you. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. Ignore the other persons defensiveness and focus on problem solving and good communication even if it feels hard. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than Delivered to your inbox! 1 of 2. What. She heard the blustering, defensive note in his voice. Of course, it's difficult to give and receive healthy criticism if we're clinging to a defensive attitude. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. b. For example, your husband forgets to pass along a message, your wife forgets to pick up milk at the store, or your partner says something that inadvertently hurts your feelings. When you feel criticized, do you engage in any of the following behaviors? Here are 12 truths about defensiveness that can help us better understand this self-protecting impulse. Perhaps its around a certain person or in a certain situation. Her next book, Love Skills, will be available in February 2020. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? Using the word opinion. Acknowledging that you play some role in the problem will help to defuse the situation and allow you to work together with the other person to solve the issue. Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. 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