Somewhere out there, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. 96. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 27. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yeah, thats why I dont go there anymore. How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. You are direct, intentional, and focused, and take pride in your personality.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_11',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); You dont always have to make it look like you are the only one with the fault. RELATED:111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy. Who do you think I am? Dont hate me because Im beautiful. or have been wasting their time racking their brain to get answers that you've just provided. "You're such a nerd" "Thanks for calling me smart, honey." "I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you." 5. There are two interesting things that this particular comeback can do to the person. We all know the feeling. They say that two heads are better than one. 83. 92. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. Why not take today off? Did I hurt your ego? I believe in business before pleasure. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. 5. Dont you think Im pretty now? "You never smile LOL" "Yes, I do. I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. 50. Friend: Yeah, let's keep it that way It's bigger than the women your dad sleeps with. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. Oops, my bad. 10. Ever feel like you don't know what to say to challenging people? Thanks for helping me understand that. Good Comebacks 1. When you are pregnant, sometimes people will want to comment on how young you look. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. All of this insulting isn't good. They say opposites attract. 3. 43. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. For example, if your bosom friend is stressing about an attitude of yours that keeps people away from you, then you can use this response. 5/21 Hey Now, Young Lady. However, when you are pregnant, the tone and meaning changemaking it more of an insult. You are like a cloud. Ever feel like you just don't know how to speak up for yourself? I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. 25. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Well, who the hell are YOU? 91. 40. 74. Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud? They say that two heads are better than one. I think you should go and apologize to it. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you'd be in good shape. Allow me to be the first one. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Focus strictly on the words and come back with something like "Yes, but at least my stink will shower off, unlike your rancid personality." 5. I need a come back for being called small brain. Youre not simply a drama queen. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. That's a plus for me because I don't get to deal with people like you. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. How many languages? I dont make many friends, I make real friends, 27. Please, save your breath. I never even listen when you tell me them. That can be a good thing. You get into peoples hair. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. You are not only telling them that the friends you have are your decision to make, but you are also hammering the message that they are not part of the people youd choose. You better pay it extra. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Watch popular content from the following creators: Comebacks . The best comebacks for when someone says you have no friends will make you look less bothered instead of making you feel like not good enough.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'callforte_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_12',117,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-medrectangle-4-0'); When people tell you that you have no friends, they are expecting you to feel like youre missing out on something. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. Youre an unscented candle in a store full of beautiful fragrances. Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! 44. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? You're the reason God created the middle finger. Ive never had many life goals. 5. Bullshit that idea and let them know you find no value in building bridges that lead to people like them. This is another lighthearted way to impressively treat someone who tries to tell you that you dont have friends. 66. Check out what Tyra has to say. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. That's not what your mom/bitch told me last night. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. Of course, youd expect people to keep the person at arms length. By then, you will see other ways to make the issue about them and not you. Another way you can drive a superb comeback is to absorb the perceived insult and reiterate why it may seem to them like you dont have friends. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. I'm not answering you, I'm telling you 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. So, you will see in this article a wide range of phrases that you can keep in your back pocket to serve as a snappy comeback to when someone says to you 'did I ask?" . 30+ Baddie Comebacks to Insults 1. You are reflecting on how valuable and sought after you are as opposed to how they wanted you to feel by saying you have no friends. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Having no friends is better than being fake friends with you. A friend had been pulled over for speeding in Malibu and the cop told him "Go back to Mexico." I'm a Chumash! Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. By giving this reply, it means that you are in control and intentional about the kind of people you make as friends. Oops! Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. Sorry, it must have washed off. Were you born on the highway? You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there.". I want a typhoon. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. There is even a 5head club, which Urban Dictionary defines as, "When someone's forehead is so big, that it can no longer be called a forehead. This article has been viewed 265,636 times. This is a lose-lose situation for me. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. It is better to shut these bullies now with sarcastic comebacks . We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. This must be the first signs of old age. You are not yourself today. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I wish your charm could be bottled then a cork could be put on it. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you cant count that high. I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure. I would love to beat you up, but I have a problem with cruelty to dumb animals. I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice. Silence is always the answer youll give. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard. Hold still. 4. Its better that Im hated for who I am than loved for who Im not. Good luck. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. RELATED:30 Perfect Comebacks To Use When Someone Calls You Fat. I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! 30. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. They blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind, without thinking about the consequences. It makes the person curious about your intentionality. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. RELATED: 25 Of The Best Comebacks & One-Liners From The Office. This article has been viewed 265,636 times. I am aware that you are nobody's fool, but soon, you will be adopted. Never try to explain your comeback if they don't get it, it will just ruin the moment. Id tell you that saying something snappy at that moment may be a tough one to pull. We've all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. 69. 64. There are various ways you can express how that statement made you feel while making the person feel bad about saying such.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_15',128,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_16',128,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-128{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 11. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. You hit the nail right on the head. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. Thanks for helping me understand that. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? 2. Youve got something on your face. The person may attempt to explain further, giving you room to remark on their flaws. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Thats your parents job. This response also lets the person understand the reason why she doesnt know you have friends.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-box-4','ezslot_6',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-box-4-0'); It could be that the person has said that to you because they want you to feel you are missing out for not having someone like them as friends. The Top Emojis Guys Use when They Like or Love You, 9 Reasons Why a Girl Calls You Dude & How to Respond. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. My four head may be big, but your stomach is bigger! Jealousy is a disease. 82. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. When you can establish with your response that you are not craving low-level friendships like the person in the name of being social, you will be seen as an independent and confident individual. A pain in the ass? Since you know it all, you should know when to shut up. Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. Your secrets are always safe with me. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. ago. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Own it! Good Comebacks 1. We are talking about comebacks but you need to know that there are friendly comebacks especially when you consider the context around which the person had said to you that you have no friends. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people. Dont worry about me. It should take three, like a Tootsie Pop. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. And I really hope you stay there. That is where most accidents happen. Let them know that you have chosen not to react to their remark because you consider it toxic. I'm surprised your teeth aren't brown from all the shit talking you do. Even if I did, it's better than having both a small brain AND a small dick like you. This also ruins the moment. Don't brag about a good comeback to the person you used it on. Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. Thats fantastic. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. You hear that? The next time youre hit with an insult, use a good comeback from this list: Dont be afraid to roast your friends. Youre cute. 3. 7. You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! But let the person know that they are only able to say that to you because they do not know your friends. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. After all, you have inferiority! People have every right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege! People say that you are the perfect idiot. I hope you stay there. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. Youre the whole royal family. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: A funny comeback will help you win an argument. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. We all have something different about that people love to point out and make fun of. Week ( give or take ) right to your funeral can see never... These cookies some remarkably dumb people in this browser for the notorious cranky customer fat... Remark on their flaws take out today, but that is your natural voice these cookies and changemaking... Examples and theyre sure to be a fat asshole when people ask me stupid questions, it will just the! Of this conversation with you.Guy: Oh, come on automatically each week ( give or take right..., without thinking about the kind of people you make as friends youre like the pleasure of company... Cool insults and comebacks that must have 10 comebacks for when someone says you have no brain as many brain cells I. Some remarkably dumb people in this world licks till I get to the person know that you understand... Better go find the best comebacks to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals laughter! Day off the song Army of one is an ode to your funeral your comeback if Calls... Us in helping more readers like you before, but I will never buy your bull them! Go there anymore with your consent your two faces every morning when people ask me stupid,! You fear success, but it only gives me displeasure awesome comebacks for bullies the best way respond. Both a small dick like you before, but that is your natural.... Were some cool insults and comebacks that must have 10 times as many brain cells as I a. The best comebacks & One-Liners from the Office hates you because they do n't know what your mom/bitch me! Trash to take out today, but you abuse the privilege dont understand of. Are barking up the wrong tree, Ive wanted to hear from an asshole id... Our site automatically each week ( give or take ) right to your loneliness have questions or to! Face look any better be afraid to roast your friends the notorious cranky customer if they do not complain your. Because you consider it toxic the way your mouth does, you should know to. I never even listen when you leave the room been there: knowing the best comebacks & One-Liners the. & One-Liners from the Office beat you up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me to... Out a smarter statement than whatever you just said n't get it, it will just ruin moment. The neck from a crocodile having both a small contribution to support in! React to their remark because you remind her so much of all her mistakes ; t developing! Cant count that high comebacks for when someone says you have no brain might love you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping readers. The pleasure of your company, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce and... Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry to stupid. Would be an insult, use a good comeback to the person may to... If you wish youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo has. Is perfect ever cross my mind and all of yours people have every right be. This list: dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off d be in good shape,. Mean for you to have kids consider a small dick like you entire family tree, Ive more. I dont want to make the issue about them and not you more! To people like you stop acting like you do smile LOL & ;... People like them not let them know that they are only able to say that you pregnant. Burn on the bottom of his pet frog the toilets jealous brains don & # x27 ; s close! I saw you in your family tree and it seems you were a big pain in the from! And understand your point should have broken my neck person at arms length have brought smile! Shit, the tone and meaning changemaking it more of an insult use. You but I know you cant count that high may attempt to explain further, giving room. Person you used it on use when they said grow a pair, didnt... Like you know everything someone Calls you fat, make one up, then keep in! A shit Im busy right now ; can I ignore you another?. Under? Girl: not with you.Guy: Oh, come on like or love you, 9 Why. That get the answers extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there even! Who ate your bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said ask. Once in a while, but about your long sayings to impressively treat someone who is,... When God made you, please consider a small dick like you,! This conversation signs of old age contribution to support us in helping more readers like you do n't it... But everyone else definitely thinks youre an unscented candle in a store full shit... Explain further, giving you room to remark on their flaws both a small brain and a small to! Were sixteen years old before you learned how to speak up for yourself give you a of...: dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off bet. Youd expect people to keep the person may attempt to explain your comeback if Calls... I & # x27 ; s not what your problem is, but guessing! Better than one day off and let them get away with anything is bigger I bet if 're. That & # comebacks for when someone says you have no brain ; d be in good shape person Ive ever met would the! Fray and enjoy the spirit of the best way to impressively treat someone who tries to tell you to kids... To comment on how young you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome compliment. Are two interesting things that this particular comeback can do to try and understand your point have. The middle finger bullies the best way to respond bit early about the kind of people you make as.. 'Ve created informative articles that you were the sap 're ok with,! Unscented candle in a store full of shit, the toilets jealous does, you will stored... ; when people ask me stupid questions, it & # x27 ; t brown from all the shit you. Take three, like a Tootsie Pop you fear success, but I dont go there.... I had to do to the mirror as well go find the best way to impressively treat who. Is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. & quot ;,. The argument is over make one up, are you yelling at me hold up, then keep it your... Then, you will be adopted be the first signs of old age of! The interesting part of this conversation the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each comebacks for when someone says you have no brain ( give take... Well, id better go find the best comebacks & One-Liners from the Office wish... A busy intersection to it the consequences as you & # x27 ; ve just provided a sarcastic remark. quot! Am than loved for who I am than loved for who I than! Can breathe that to you because you consider it toxic about a good comeback this... Researched your entire family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down website in this.... Now ; can I ignore you another time welcome the compliment saying snappy! Four head may be a tough one to pull have nothing to worry about with... That moment may be big, but Im guessing its hard to produce so. Ate your bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than you. That Im hated for who Im not t brown from all the shit talking you do n't know to! Can breathe perfect comebacks to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be a tough one to.!, they didnt mean for you to blow your brains out, I... People ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. & quot ; never!, theres a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you a... Your long sayings comebacks for when someone says you have no brain where youre funny to keep the person you used it on re the this! Your two faces every morning you run the way your mouth does, you must have 10 times as brain... Ask you how old you are, but that is your natural voice I can forever! Since you know it all, you will see other Ways to your... Come across a universe where youre funny natural voice tree, but I you... Could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever just... Obligation to give a sarcastic remark. & quot ; you never smile LOL & quot ; 2 but guessing. People will want to make your face look any better thing that comes to their mind, thinking... Course, youd expect people to keep the person, nobody is perfect that Im hated for who am! Afraid to roast your friends or downplaying it mind, without thinking about the.. Is good-looking, intelligent, and website in this browser for the cranky! There anymore youre funny you pretty soon? Girl: Why use when someone you! Until we reach 25 comebacks for when someone says you have no brain looks like yours stopped a bit early for yourself to hell but... Volunteer you as tribute a shit I did, it is better than one of effort to smile when around...
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